What She Doesn't Know
by ashley-chan
Summary: Inu-Yasha telling you his story... I know this idea has been done to death but stay with me here... 0_o A little lemonish in one paragraph. R+R!


-Title- What She Doesn't Know  
  
-Disclaimers- I don't own Inu-Yasha (but I own the plushie) so don't sue.  
  
*~*~*  
  
I did it again.  
  
I pushed her away... again.  
  
I don't know how it happened exactly. Little by little, time changed everything when it concerned Kagome and I. After all we've been through, and all that she has done for my sake, I've grown quite attached to her.  
  
Of course I would never admit it, but I knew it for a fact that it was true. It pains me inmensly that she has never called this world her *home*....when to me she is already a very important part of my life and well.... my *heart*.  
  
Smirk.  
  
Although that probrably doesn't suprise you, ne?  
  
I, a half blooded youkai has feelings other than hate and anger towards anyone, much less a mortal? Great...now I'm starting to sound like that stupid half brother of mine.  
  
To be honest my feelings came as a shock. I realized it a few nights after Kagome found out that I turned into a human when the moon is at a certain place. I remember laying there, sweating, trying to overcome the poison and my weak condition. Everyone slept peacefully, but she stayed up all night watching over me. I simply asked for her lap, and in my state, told her that I lied about not liking her smell.  
  
In fact, her smell relaxes me, calms me. Just knowing that her pressence is close to me, knowing she is safe, is enough to allow me to walk in peace. After that, I watched her sleep, studying her calm features in the night. I always had an urge to jump down from the tree and look at her closer....maybe even touch her hair. But my fear does not allow me to show such tenderness.  
  
One night, my sensitive ears picked up the sound of her whimpering. Alarmed, I jumped down from the tree and realized what was the reason for such a sound. She was having a nightmare. As I debated wether or not to comfort her, tears suddenly flowed from her closed eyelids.  
  
I was at a loss once again as to what I should do. Youkai I could protect her from, the letch also, but what now? She whispered so quietly, I could hardly understand what she was mumbling:  
  
"Inu-Yasha, don't leave me....please...don't die..." Her little hands reached out to me.  
  
My heart was beating so quickly I was afraid that it would burst. I slowly took her fragile hands in my calloused ones, liking the feel of her soft hands in mine. Tentatively, I ran my claws through her long black hair and leaned into her ear whispering:  
  
"Don't worry, Kagome. I'm right here..." My voice seemed to soothe her, and her tears stopped flowing. A smile crept into my face as I watched her features calm with each wonderful breath she took.  
  
Nothing could prepare me for what she said next:  
  
"Aishteru....Inu-Yasha...." She fell into a deep sleep once again, almost as if her body was now content after she voiced her feelings into the night air.  
  
I just sat there in shock, with her small hand gripping mine tightly. I stayed like that for quite some time, watching the light of the fire reflecting on her face, just thinking about what she said so truthfully. After a long time passed, I realized that I loved her also.  
  
It may be wrong, and may the gods help me, but I loved this beautiful woman.  
  
She lives in another world, she has a family to go back to, but I'll be dammed if I let her leave me. If I must, I will live in her world once this is all over. For her....I would do anything. I looked up into the sky and saw the demons that steal souls for Kikyou.... that must mean she is nearby.  
  
You probably think I'm going to chase after them to see her, don't you?  
  
You are quite mistaken.  
  
Kikyou was just a companion to soothe my lonely sould and confused heart. Of course she was very important to me, and she did show me that not everyone is the same, but she is just that....the past. I never loved her....I love only this woman that is holding my hand at this moment.  
  
Kagome is the one I love out of free will, the one that brings life into mine, and the one that makes my heart flutter everytime she smiles at me...  
  
Wouldn't you know it, that after I figure all of this out in one night, she decides to inform me that she has to go back to her world for these so called "tests". Not knowing what to do after I assured myself of my true feelings, I screamed at her, telling her that this is no time for her to have fun.  
  
I was pushing her away, scared to tell her of the real reason that I didn't want her to leave to her time....fear of her leaving me behind.  
  
She told me I didn't understand her position and promised that she would be back as soon as she could....and I trusted her.  
  
So here I am, telling you my story as I wait for the woman I love to come out of that well that connects our times and also....our hearts. I wait anxiously for her, not daring to admit it to anyone else. By the looks that the monk is giving me, I guess I'm being too obvious. Shit.  
  
When she comes back, I'll act like I always do and smile at her when she's not looking. I'll watch over her as she sleeps and protect her from any harm that may come her way. Although sometimes I wonder if one day I will lose my control and ravish her on the ground in that very instant....making her completly mine....hearing her moans underneath me... her nails scratching my back....  
  
I had to chuckle at where my mind was taking me. Perhaps she was safer with an evil youkai than with my pent up feelings and fantasies.... Then again, I think I prefer her to be with me, ne?  
  
One day though, I will tell her of my feelings and my heart. I'll do whatever necessary to keep her by my side, because I don't want her to have to worry about "us" quite yet. She has enough to worry about as it is. I can wait an eternity if I have to. If it means I will be with her in the end, than any punishment and any restraint of my feelings is well worth having her for myself.  
  
After all, what she doesn't know won't hurt her... right?  
  
Right...  
  
*~*~*  
  
A/N: Whoo....I have to admit I'm really happy with this fic. I know the idea has been done to death, but I enjoyed the idea of Inu-Yasha actually telling the reader his tale and mixing in that quote we all know so well. If you enjoyed this as much as I did at writting it, then please review (I'll be a happy camper, lol) 0_o Ja ne! 


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